The Green Masked Fox
by The Fox Paradox 9
Summary: During Naruto's prank on the Hokage mountain he finds something in the 4th's nose. It is the one, the only, the mask. With Naruto being a regular prankster, Kyuubi being a trickster fox, and Loki's mask what chaos will be made? Randomness to the extreme!
1. Chapter 1 A Mask?

_The Green Masked Fox_

_by Uzunaru999_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**Look at my challenges on my Profile!**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Chapter 1 A Mask?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Readers POV

The camera shows you the world, then it quickly flies down in on a large outcropping of woods, closer still you find yourself above a large village filled with people. A sexy yet manly voice sounds around you.

"Ah Konoha, the village hidden in the leaves. The most famous and proclaimed most powerful of the five great villages. Home of the three Sannin, the Hyuuga, Aburame, Akimichi, Yamanaka, Nara, Inuzuka, and the all _important_ Uchiha. Yes Konoha is a wonderful place to visit, they have the worlds most luxurious hot-springs. The best Ramen and Dango stands. If its the sights you want you can go to the Konoha arena were the Chunnin exams are held every so often and if you're brave enough the Forest of Death! The most amazing thing though would have to be the hokage monument, which at the moment is being vandalized…..wait WHAT?"

The camera then shakes and zooms in on a orange clan boy with blond hair who is on the Hokage mountain painting graffiti everywhere! The narrators voice is forgotten as you notice the boy look surprised as he tries to paint a mustache under the fourth Hokage's nose. He leans closer and you watch he tries to pry something out of the stone face's nose.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto's POV

"What the hell is this? And why the fuck is it stuck up the Yondaime's nose for Log's sake?" Then using chakra on his feet Naruto grabs the object and pulls with all his strength. After nothing he tries a few more times until is pops out, and then he and the object fall onto the roof of the the Village administrative building.

Naruto groaned, "Ow ok that was not such a good idea, ugh." Naruto looks at the item that he picked out of the Yondaime's nose in curiosity.

"NARUTO~~~~!" roared voices a through out the village. Naruto quickly jabs the unknown object into his jumpsuit and he begins the comical chase around the village, which includes genin, chunnin, Jounin, ANBU, and Tora the Daimyo's cat. Naruto jumps over another building only to fall into a prepared net snare. Naruto yelps and watches as almost 75% of Konoha's shinobi force surround him.

"I didn't do it! You have no proof! I want my lawyer!" shouted Naruto as he was dragged in the net.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Iruka's classroom

The blond groans as he is plopped down on the wood floor, all tied up. Iruka stands over him menacingly, "NARUTO! Tomorrow is the graduation exams! The last two you've failed, I thought that you would have been studying. But I find you painting the Hokage mountain in broad daylight! I am very disappointed in you." He looks at Naruto who seemed to have fallen asleep.

"RAGH! Fine because of Naruto thinking that my lectures are so boring we're going to have a pop quiz! Everyone line up and show your Henge no Jutsu!" The class grumbles. One by one the students come up and do what they are asked. Once Naruto gets his turn he hears a few of the other students whisper.

"Its all his fault, can't the jerk do anything right?"

"I'll bet he'll fail again, thats all he will ever be good at. Failing."

Naruto growls and looks at Iruka who asks, "Ok Naruto transform into me and please no nonsense."

"Sexy no jutsu!" in a poof of smoke gone was Uzumaki Naruto, now there was a beautiful and sexy looking naked blonde teenage girl. The girl pouts at Iruka, "You're not going to get mad at little old me are you? Iruka-kun?"

Iruka and all straight males, even static Shino flew back in a nose bleed. Though for some reason Sasuke stood the same, unaffected. Naruto lets go of the transformation and laughs, "HaHa How do you like my Sexy no Jutsu Iruka-sansei? Is it awesome or what?"

**BONK**

Naruto, now showing a large lump on his head, whines, "Why~~~~?" The scar nosed teacher, with tissues stuffed up his nose, yelled, "Stop making useless jutsu like that!" While Naruto was on the ground groaning in pain he felt the object he hid in his jacket vibrate. He shakes it off thinking it nothing. After class Naruto was dragged to back to the mountain and was forced to clean off all the paint. After that he went to Ichiraku Ramen and ate a few bowls alone.

That night would the night that would change the shinobi world FOREVER!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto's apartment

Naruto dragged his feet across the floor in pain. After he did some training so right now he was very…very…very…tired. He starts to take off his jacket when he feels something solid in it. Confused he opens it up to show the mysterious item that he found. At first it looked covered in dirt. Naruto being curious decides to find out what it is. Taking it to the bathroom sink Naruto was able to clean the thing till he found out what it was.

It was a mask. A wooden, green tinted mask. Ok, now he was confused, why in all holy that is ramen was there a mask shoved up the Yondaime's Hokage's nose? Naruto looked at the inside of the mask and watched as it shined as if light was bouncing off water. Drawn to it Naruto brought the green wooden mask to his face….

Then all hell broke loose!

The mask attached itself to the blond's head and started to morph around his skull. Then for Naruto everything goes black.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

?

Naruto starts to wake up the sound of laughter and talking. It took a while but soon he could make out what they were saying.

"**Then, and then the kit got orders a truck full of illegal catnip and dumps all over the Inuzuka compound. The next morning was the battle to end all battles between Cats and Dogs. I heard that Tora took down fifteen alpha male dogs before it was captured!**" The loud voice laughs along with a another voice.

"I have to say this kid has to the perfect person to ever find my mask, Hoho things will never get bored with him..specking of the boy here he comes around."

Naruto looks up and finds two things he never thought he'd see in his life. One: The Kyuubi no Kitsune, Two: a man pajamas with a almost neon green mask covering his head. The Green Masked man jumps over to Naruto and pulls him up.

"Hi How ya doing! Nice to meet you Naruto, My name is Loki! God of mischief, pranks and chaos! HaHaHaHa!" The green masked man, Loki, finished laughing with a grin that could only be rivaled by the Kyuubi's own.

Naruto shakes his head, "I must have hit my head pretty hard." Loki smacked Naruto on the back, "Nonsense my boy, you are just here because of my mask you put on." Naruto then remembers all that happened. He looked up at Loki and Kyuubi.

"Ok….I guess I could understand meeting you Loki-san but what the hell is the Kyuubi no Kitsune doing here?"

"**I'm sealed within you and thats why almost everyone in the village hates you.**" Naruto blinks once….then again…and again for a third time. Then he finally says, "Well that would explain a lot."

Loki frowns, "RAGH! No more of this angst shit! I want fun, laughter and happiness!" Loki whirls in a tornado and appears a inch before Naruto's face, "So Naruto I heard you like pranks, is this true?" Naruto could only nod.

"And I heard you like ramen is this also true?" naruto beamed and nodded vigorously. "Well that WONDERFUL! Because Pranks and Ramen are my favorite things!" naruto whoos, "Yes! Take that Iruka-sensei I told you Ramen was food for the gods!" The Three tricksters laughed. Kyuubi whipped a tear from his eye with one of his tails.

"**Ah kit you never cease to entertain me. But now thats lord Loki is here, we can take your pranks to a whole new level!**" Naruto got a glint in his eye that would cause Orochimaru go straight. "Keep talking."

Loki, using his god powers, turned the room into a modern day movie theater. From there Loki started to show naruto the wonders of old time cartoons. "This here my boy is my power, the power to destroy and reorganize reality. With my powers you will be a living cartoon, not to mention your pranks with be that of legend. Not that of the village but of the world!"

In the real world the villagers, Kakashi, Zabuza, Garra, Neji, Jiraiya, Orochimaru, Akatsuki, Sasuke and many others all felt their spines freeze.

"So you're saying that I'll get the powers to do that?" Naruto points to bugs bunny moving abnormal ways to dodge Elmer Fudd's bullets. Loki laughed, "Yes you get that and a lot more! Together you, me and my good friend Kyuubi will cause more mayhem than the Kami of this world can handle! Now go my boy and spread the chaos and mind blowing randomness to the world!"

Loki shot green energy out of his hands that stuck Naruto's body and everything went to hell and back.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto's apartment

Naruto's hopped from his bed, noticing the sun was beginning to rise Naruto got an evil thought. "Well I never did get to fully complete the redecoration of the Mountain." With a wild twister Naruto jumped/broke out of his apartment window and sped off to the top of the monument to create his masterpiece.

*A few hours later*

Everyone in the village was waking up, getting ready for the day. Stores and stands were opening for business. The Sandaime Hokage was walking to the office, everything was quiet…that was until the Hokage mountain started moving. The Shodaime Hokage face gave a loud cough.

*COUGH* "**Attention will the real Uzumaki Naruto please stand up!**" The village was silent in confusion. "**I say again will the real Uzumaki Naruto please stand up!**" Everyone looking up at the faces could see a figure hoping up and down on top of the Shodaime's head. The figure had a large sign that read, "I'm right here!". The Shodaime face smiled and spoke, "**Good now that the guest of honor is here lets ROCK THIS JOINT!**" A quick beat started to play throughout the village. And then the craziness began as the heads begun to sing in chorus.

"**He's too sexy for his village, too sexy for his village! The villagers are going to kick him out!**" Off the mountain the Figure drops into the village square, revealing it to be Naruto stark naked except a pair of green fox covered boxers, a pimp cain and a hat with a feather in it. With a gigantic smile he starts to stroll down main street, skipping to the beat. All the villagers and shinobi could only stand and watch in amazement.

"**He's too sexy for his boxers, Too sexy for his boxers! The girls are wounding what'd he look with out!**" Naruto gives a sensual wink towards a bunch of woman causing them all to swoon. The Hokage couldn't help but start to ask, 'How is the nine levels of hell is he doing this?'

"**And he's a shinobi model you know what we mean, cuz when he walks down that street all the girls are going to scream!**" More and more girls fall the charm that is Uzumaki Naruto.

"**He's to sexy for his ramen, way to sexy for his ramen. With average shinobi there is nothing they have in common!**" Naruto twirls his cain as he enters his class room. He turns his back to the class and starts dancing.

"**And he's a shinobi model you know what we mean, cuz when he shakes his little tush Hyuuga Hinata's going to scream!**" And scream she did when She saw naruto shake his ass and when she'd realize that the whole village now knew her love interest.

"**Finally he's too sexy for his class, too sexy for his class. Uchiha Sasuke can kiss his ASS!**" The Yondaime repeated the last line with a deep voices, "_**KISS HIS ASS!**_" The entire village was silent before the Sandaime face sneezed and covered most of the village in rock snot.

.

.

.

Silence

.

.

.

Silence

.

.

.

_**"NA~RU~TO!"**_

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC…

(**if you have any pranks or goofy attacks you want Naruto to use in the future please PM or leave a cool review!**)


	2. Chapter 2 Silliness

The Green Masked Fox

by Uzunaru999

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**Check out my challenges on my profile!**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Chapter 2 Silliness

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Academy

Naruto giggled as he continued to annoy his target. The target was so easy to break for him, to others it was near impossible. But for Naruto nothing was impossible And so he sat next to his target and simply made a single noise.

"Quack."

.

Nothing

.

"Quack."

.

*twitch*

.

"Quack."

.

*tick on forehead*

.

"Qua-"

.

"WOULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE YOU DOBE!" yelled a very angry Sasuke. But when he turned to look at the person responsible all he found was a box that had a slip of paper that read.

"The secret to defeating an older homicidal sibling."

Sasuke totally forgot Naruto and ripped open the package. And just as he lifted the lid a bright red boxing glove shot out and bashed him in the face. The glove launched Sasuke outside the classroom window.

All the kids, minus the fangirls, erupt in laughter. The laughter died down when a horde of ANBU, Jounin and a few chunnin burst through the door.

"Uzumaki Naruto you are to come with us this instant." Naruto looked on with boredom and he said, "Do you guys actually think you can catch me?"

The lead ANBU sighed, "No not really but orders are orders. So you want to start?" When the ANBU looked again all he saw was a cardboard cut out of the infamous blond. The group groan and the leader told them to spread out.

The chase didn't really start until they found him in the village square doing magic tricks for young children. When the chasers arrive Naruto spoke to the awed kids.

"And now for my greatest trick I will escape these men while humiliating them publicly!"

The men tried to charge only to be caught in a field of mouse traps. The ninja tried to escape, but all they got was pain. The children cheered for Naruto, who started running away from the shinobi that didn't get caught by the traps.

"Grrrr, when I get my hand on that boy."

They chased Naruto around a corner only for him to disappear again. The ninja groaned, the leader shouted, "Scatter and find that brat!"

As the last pursuer left a man on a bench lowered the newspaper that he was reading. Behind the newspaper was Naruto with a fake mustache.

"Hehe suckers. Now time to do the last part. MEEP MEEP!" And with super speed Naruto disappeared in a dust cloud shaped like himself.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Clearing

Naruto stood on one half of a training ground, on the other was the remaining ANBU that had chased him. Most if not all of them were panting from exhaustion. The lead ANBU took a step forward.

"Theres no where else to go Uzumaki, give up."

Naruto just gave a evil smile, "Well before we go I have something to give you, PAINT BOMB!" Naruto then shot an orange object at the ANBU. The shinobi out of reflex took out his tanto and sliced it in half. What surprised them was that the orange object wasn't a paint bomb, no it was a book. But not any book, no it was the newest Icha Icha Paradise novel.

It took a few seconds for the ANBU to realize what happened. But then it was too late, an angry roar sounded.

"YOU KILLED MY PRESIOUS! DIE!" All the ANBU paled as they saw Kakashi Hatake running at them with a chidori with madness in his eyes. When the jounin hit the group the sound of bowling pins being knocked over was heard, and the ANBU were thrown into the air like rage dolls.

Naruto, Loki, and Kyuubi laughed as they left the clearing. Happy that the dangerous scheme had gone according to plan. But it was short lived as the Hokage himself appeared and he was mad.

"Naruto you are to come with me to the council meeting or I will band Ramen from the fire nation."

Naruto and his tenants gasped, "You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me Naruto-kun." replied Hiruzen with a gleam in his eyes.

Naruto grumbled, "Alright, just let me go and change out of these sweaty clothes. I promise to be there in an hour." The Hokage nodded, knowing that Naruto never breaks a promise.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Council Chambers

A pink haired woman growled, "Where is that de-I mean brat?" All of the clan heads and the hokage glared.

"I'd watch my mouth if I were you council woman Haruno. You don't want to break a law and make your daughter a orphan, do you?" The woman gulped and shut up.

About 30 minutes, just before the hour mark was up a knock was heard at the door. Hiruzen told his guards to open it. The person that walked in was dressed to impress. Naruto was wearing a tux made of the finest cloth and all of it green with the kanji of "Green Fox" on the back of it. He also wore a a dark green hat with black tie.

"Well hello honorable council how can I help you today." Naruto sat down in a nearby chair and smiled.

The Haruno clan woman growled, "How did you afford something like that _boy_?" Naruto gave a evil grin and pulled on the collar of his green suit, "You should know Haruno-san, you paid for it."

The woman screeched, "I DID NO SUCH THING!" Naruto took out a piece of paper and handed it to the Hokage. The Hokage as surprised when he saw the council woman's handwriting on the bill.

"Well Haruno-san it according to this you did, and theres nothing you can do to change it." The pink haired woman turned red in anger. Tsume Inuzuka had her fist in her jaw to stop from laughing.

The Hokage coughed, "Now we all know why we are here. It is to discuss how Naruto was able to manipulate the Hokage monument."

"Not telling." Was Naruto's only reply. The civilian council growled while the clan heads thought the meeting was a total waste of time.

"You will tell us the truth urchin!", yelled a wealthy shop merchant.

"Why should I tell you goose eggs anything? I mean most of the time you've been trying to have me killed or banished from Konoha. Even one of you has tried to turn me into a weapon. So tell me why in the hell I should even acknowledge you as a human being?" Replied Naruto coolly.

The Civilian members ground their teeth together in rage. Naruto just sat in his chair filing his nails. Hiruzen slumped his head in exhaustion, "Lets just call this meeting to a close, we have no right to question him. This has been nothing but a farce."

The civilians tried to convince the Hokage, but the chamber was already emptying out.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3 Weird Summons

_The Green Masked Fox_

_by Uzunaru999_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. Nor do I own anything that is mentioned in this story. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**Check out my challenges on my profile!**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o 

Chapter 3 Weird Summons

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto was unhappy, very unhappy, why was he unhappy you ask? Well it was because he had failed the graduation exams again. No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't make a single regular bunshin. Loki and Kyuubi's opinion was that the jutsu was a complete utter waste of time.

As Naruto sat there on a bench thinking of ways he could force...Blackmail..._Persuade _the old man Hokage to let him become a genin. Naruto thought process was interrupted when his teacher Mizuki appeared.

"Hey Naruto I have a sure fire way for you to graduate."

Mizuki then went on to tell Naruto about the 'make up test'. Naruto agreed but Mizuki never saw the mischievous smirk on naruto's face after he left.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto smiled to himself as he raided the Hokage office, it didn't take him long for him to find the Forbidden Scroll. Just as he was putting the stuff away a large scroll fell off the rack. Naruto looked at it to find it was a summoning contract. Looking closer he read the scroll a bit.

"The Forbidden Meme Summoning Contract?" Suddenly Loki was screaming for Naruto to take the scroll. Naruto shrugged and took the summoning contract along with the forbidden scroll. It was after he put everything back that the Hokage returned from his break.

"Naruto-kun what are you up to this time?" The poor man didn't get a chance as Naruto used his Sexy Jutsu V2.0. It would later be found out that the old man almost died of blood loss. Naruto giggled and left out to the woods.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Hours later

Naruto started cackling like a madman, he had summoned some of the creatures from the scroll and he was ecstatic. The possibilities were endless, there were some for attacking, defending, traveling, and some for making your foes say "WTF!". He had also learned the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu along with the exploding variant.

So as Naruto rolled the forbidden scroll back up and put the summoning scroll into his own personal hammer space. Just as Naruto finished his work Iruka-sensei came upon the scene.

"Naruto! Do you have any idea what've done?" Naruto just stood there...snoring with a snot bubble blowing up on his nose.

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz." A huge tick mark formed on Iruka's forehead. He was about to yell but another person came upon the scene, it was Mizuki. It was at that point that Naruto woke up with a start, "Huh? Whats all this?"

Mizuki gave a evil grin, "Naruto give me the scroll." Iruka shouted out, "Mizuki how could you do this to Naruto!" Mizuki didn't have time to explain as Naruto whirled and was suddenly in a detective getup. He blew some bubbles out of his fake pipe.

"I'll tell you why he did it! He's has always had a motive, first He has never gotten the promotion he always wanted, so he's been stuck with snot nosed brats for years. Second he needs to get stronger so he can kill his evil twin sister who's name I believe is Steve. After he's done with the scroll he'll go to Orochimaru and give it to him so that he can get the surgery he wants, why does he need surgery? Well that can be summarized in two words...sex change."

Mizuki was red with anger while Iruka and the Sandaime who was watching through the hokage crystal ball were disgusted. Naruto smiled and then continued.

"But why does Mizuki need a sex change you ask? Well I've found out by reading his private journal, he wants a sex change because" Naruto gives a dramatic pause, "He has a crush on Iruka!"

Iruka slowly backed away, turned green, emptied his stomach and finally pasted out. The Sandaime was foaming at the mouth in his office. While Mizuki was frozen in fear, rage, and panic.

"Damn you Demon brat you ruined everything! And now I'll never be able to be with my dolphin-kun!"

Naruto shuddered for reasons said prior, "Well Mizuki you have broken the laws of this village, and those of nature. And so I will now reveal your punishment! Behold! Summoning Jutsu!" Naruto slammed his hand on the ground, there was a large poof of smoke. Everything was quiet for a long time and then out of no where crapy and I mean very crapy music started playing. A man dressed in tan pants, black buckle belt, white collared stripped shirt, with a tacky black jacket and bad hair cut. The man had a mike stand in his hand. And then the worst happened, he started singing.

_**We're no strangers to love, You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of, You wouldn't get this from any other guy.**_

_**I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, Gotta make you understand…**_

_**Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.**_

_**We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching But you're too shy to say it. Inside we both know what's been going on, We know the game and we're gonna play it.**_

_**An~~~~d if you ask me how I'm feeling, Don't tell me you're too blind to see…**_

_**Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, **_

_**Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.**_

_**Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, **_

_**Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.**_

_**Give you up. give you up. Give you up, give you up. Never gonna give Never gonna give, give you up. **_

_**Never gonna give Never gonna give, give you up.**_

_**We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching But you're too shy to say it. Inside we both know what's been going on, **_

_**We know the game and we're gonna play it.**_

_**I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling, Gotta make you understand…**_

_**Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, **_

_**Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.**_

_**Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, **_

_**Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, **_

_**Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.**_

_**Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye, Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.**_

Mizuki looked like he was about to have an epileptic seizure, but suddenly felt a horrible pain in his nether regions. He looked down to see a kunai lodged right between his legs. He groaned and then passed out. Naruto yelled, "You just got Rick Roll'd bitch! How's that for a sex change"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto had a goofy grin on his face as Iruka gave him his head band. It wasn't long until the ANBU showed up and took the now female Mizuki away. After that Iruka put his own headband on Naruto's forehead. Right now they were on their way to the Hokage.

"So Iruka-sensei, how do you feel about the possibility of a female Mizuki as a future love interest?"

Iruka just barfed again and glared at Naruto, "Are you ever going to let me live this down?"

"NEVER!" Iruka roared and chased Naruto all the way to the hokage tower. The chase ended when they got to the Hokage office, inside they found a very disgruntled looking old man. The Hokage groaned as Naruto walked in with a major grin on his face.

The old man asked, "Naruto will you please tell me what the hell is going on with you?" Naruto shrugged. "I found a weird green mask in the nose of the Yondaime Hokage on the hokage monument. Later the mask fused with me and I gained many strange powers."

Hiruzen stared for a minute before he started to smash his head against his desk. So it changed from that to crying like a defeated man. He looked to the sky and cried out, "Why Kami? Why? Why have you done this?"

Out of no where a voice spoke, "**Because you barely protected Naruto you old dried up prune**."

Everyone in the office froze at the sound of the random voice. Naruto just whispered, "That never happened right?" Both Iruka and Hiruzen nodded. The Sandaime coughed bring them back to the topic at hand.

"Well congratulations Naruto on completing your first B-rank mission. I will transfer the money to your account later today. Now I expect you to be there on the day the teams are announced, you two are dismissed."

While Iruka left through the office door, Naruto leap frogged himself out the window breaking it in the process. Hiruzen slammed his head on his desk again after that.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4 Little Children

_The Green Masked Fox_

_by Uzunaru999_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. Nor do I own anything that is mentioned in this story. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**Check out my challenges on my profile!**

**(A/N: Went back and corrected a lot of spelling and font errors on previous chapters. Doing the same for other stories during the next updates.)**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o 

Chapter 4 Little Children

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto stood in front of his make shift stand in the middle of the market area and shouted loudly.

"Come one, come all Nara women! I have the solution to get rid of your husbands and son's laziness!" A small crowd of women formed around him.

"Now ladies are you tired of your husbands not taking out the trash? Are you tired of your sons not cleaning up their rooms? Are you tired of any male of your family not taking care of the family deer?"

"Yeah!" The woman yelled.

"Well wait no longer for I have the answer! Behold my patented Nara Emasculator 9000 Frying Pan!" Naruto brought out a pure silver frying pan, it shined in the noon sun. The woman awed at the quality of the frying pan.

"Now I know what you're thinking, 'It just looks like a normal frying pan!'. But ladies there is something that puts all frying pans to shame. You see on the back side of the frying pan is a hidden seal. And its the seal that makes this already awesome frying pan more awesome! You see when you hit any male with the back side of the pan the seal with inject a dose of caffeine into the male hit, enough caffeine to fill five cups of expresso! The effects are immediate, they will have to do what ever you want to get ride of their energy other wise they'll be awake for a full four days! Also theres no crash when the caffeine wares off! So they won't be able to sleep after its all done!"

"And lets not forget that this is a nonstick pan! Now who wants one!" Hands filled with money raised into the air. Naruto himself had dollar signs in his eyes. Back at the Nara compound the males felt a disturbance in the force. From that day forward the Nara men would forever curse the terror of the Nara Emasculator 9000 Frying Pan.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later 

Naruto smiled in his seat. He was in front of the Hokage waiting for him to approve his shinobi I.D. Picture. Which happened to be him with a unnaturally big grin on his face.

"Well Naruto everything looks in order, now all you-"

"I've got you now old man!", the door to the room slid open to show a kid around 8 or 9 years old. The kid had a weird helmet on his head that hid his brown hair. Around his neck was a long scarf...the same scarf that he tripped on as he ran towards the Hokage.

"Hey who tripped me?" Naruto snickered at the young boy tried to stand up again only to trip on his scarf for a second time.

"Darn it! Who keeps tripping me?" By that time Naruto had laughed out loud. The little kid scowled at Naruto.

"It was you wasn't it!" The boy dramatically pointed at Naruto. Naruto just stared at the boy for a second before falling off his chair and started to roll on the floor laughing. He then started to bang the floor with his fist. No one noticed the floor board he was banging was starting to move. The door to the room opened again and a stupid looking man dressed in black walked in yelling.

"Honorable grandson? I've told you not to interrupt Hokage-sama during his work. Now I'll-"

The man was cut off as the floor board that Naruto was banging unhinged and due to the force the opposite end flew up. The other end of the wooden board slammed right in the guys nether regions. The man gave a high pitched scream before passing out.

The rest of the people in the room were frozen, that was until the rest of the floor boards under Naruto broke and he fell through the floor. He screamed as he fell, the sounds that followed really confused the aged Hokage. The sounds of pianos and other instruments breaking, a flock of chickens flying about, and finally the sound of a spinning hub cap from a car tire.

"I'm ok!" sounded Naruto's weak voice from the hole in the floor.

Somewhere in another dimension

Crypt stood still for a second before laughing like a maniac, "Somewhere out there someone as hurt my enemy the FLOOR! I will find you my friend and we will have a party filled with talking hamburgers, purple flying ferrets and the Demon Chicken of DOOOoooooOOOOM!

Back in Konoha

Naruto climbed back up to the room where the Hokage was waiting. He then felt something that made him smile.

"I feel like some time in the future I'm going to meet someone more insane than myself."

The Hokage just cried silent tears at the implications of Naruto's statement. The old man quickly signed off on Naruto's paperwork and pushed him out the door to escape the insanity.

It was about that time that Ebisu, the poor guy that got a wooden plack to the family jewels, finally woke up.

"Honorable grandson? Where did he go?" screamed the frantic closet pervert.

The Hokage whimpered in fear, "He followed after Naruto." Ebisu didn't even think he just ran out the room to stop Naruto from corrupting the Honorable grandson.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Naruto hummed as he walked down the street knowing full well that the kid he met back in the office was following him. Soon though it got annoying.

"Alright squirt come front and center, you've got the worst stealth skills." Konohamaru lowered the lopsided camouflage blanket.

"I knew you were good, you even took out my teacher without meaning too! You're going to be my teacher!"

"No."

"What? Why not?", whined Konohamaru.

"Because I don't have time for little brats like you. I have pranks to pull and minds to mess with."

"I'm not leaving until you teach me something!", yelled the young child. Naruto scowled for a second before getting a wicked grin.

"Ok I'll teach you something, but before that you must have endurance to survive my harsh training."

"How are you going to do that?"

Naruto smiled, made a few hand seals and shouted, "Summoning Jutsu!" Then there was a big poof of smoke, Konohamaru suddenly got a chill down his spine.

Out of the smoke appeared a Bear that stood on two legs and had a literal rape face going on. The Bear looked at Konohamaru and spoke with a freaky voice.

"Hi kid." Konohamaru slowly backed away from the bear.

Naruto chuckled, "Kono meet Pedo-Bear, Pedo-Bear meet Konohamaru. Now Konohamaru you have a ten second head start before Pedo here chases after you. Let me tell you though you don't want this guy give you a bear hug. Ready? Set, GO!"

With that Kono ran off with a scream, Pedo-Bear though smiled. "I love it when the children run!" And with that the pedophile bear ran off to try and catch its prey. All the while Naruto walked away laughing.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The Hokage looked up from his paper work, "I have the feeling I will be having to pay therapy apointments for Konohamaru. This is just not my day."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5 OH SNAP!

_The Green Masked Fox_

_by Uzunaru999_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. Nor do I own anything that is mentioned in this **

**story. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**Check out my challenges on my profile!**

**A/N: Forgot to give credit to Third Fang for the use of his OC Crypt. Read his story [Yet again with a little extra help]. Great story with 1million+ words. A lot of randomness though.**

**A/N 2: I do not own ANYTHING that is mentioned.**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o 

Chapter 5 OH SNAP!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kakashi lone eyebrow twitched as he looked at the three genin in front of him. Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Naruto Uzumaki. Kakashi had just meet them ten minutes ago and he was already at his limits.

When he first arrived at the class room he was zapped by the door handle. Naruto, after getting tired of waiting, hooked up hacked joy buzzer to the doors metal handle. So when Kakashi touched it he was electrocuted till he was smoking. Because of that his silver hair now looked like a poodles back side.

After that the orange menace known as Naruto stole his 'new' Icha Icha Paradise book. And for some reason no matter what he did he couldn't get it back. To make it worse the blond taunted him by reading in front of him. Giggling many times while reading.

Kakashi took a deep breath and spoke, "Now that we're all here let us introduce ourselves."

Sakura asked, "What do you mean sensei?" Everyone in the immediate area sweat dropped, even Loki and Kyuubi/Kurama.

Kakashi shrugged, "You know your likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams for the future, and favorite sexual position."

Naruto did a spit take, "WAIT! What was that last one?"

Kakashi smirked beneath his mask, "What ever do you mean?" The three genin just looked at him strangely.

Kakashi gave a small nod, "How about I go first: My name is Hatake Kakashi, I have many likes and dislikes, as for hobbies, hmmmm...and my dreams for the future are too mature for your virgin ears." The strange masked man motioned toward Sakura.

"You next pinky."

Sakura scowled, "My NAME is Sakura, my likes are *looks at Sasuke with a blush* My hobbies are *repeat* My dreams for the future *SQUEAL*"

Naruto gave a poker face, "In fangirl language it translates "I like Sasuke, my hobbies are stalking Sasuke, and dreams are to marry Sasuke, jumping his bones, and having his babies. Thought the last one order of actions are up for debate."

Cue Naruto Troll Face.

Kakashi cuts in before a fight breaks out, "Ok moving on, why don't you tell us about yourself goldilocks."

Naruto smiles, "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I like pranks, ramen, foxes, laughter, and causing chaos!" Kakashi could literally feel the stress that will be caused in the future my the lone genin.

"I dislike prudes, those that hurt woman and children, people who can't take a joke, sparkly vampire wannabes, and jerks with no sense of humor." The others were very confused at the vampire part.

"My hobbies include playing pranks, screwing with peoples heads and making evil masterminds plans fall apart." Far away many generic villains sneeze at once.

"My dream for the future is to become Hokage and to be known throughout the land as the Green Fox!" Naruto finished his speech with a ridiculous pose.

Sasuke snorts, "Yeah right, like a dope like you could become Hokage." Naruto frowns before making the hand signs for the summoning jutsu. Kakashi was too shocked too stop him. What came out of the smoke caused a chill to go down the jounin's spine.

It was a big black humanoid being, it wore a decorated red vest, white pants with red sash. It had genie themed shoes and had a turban with a blue jewel on its head. The thing that freaked Kakashi out was the being's eyes. They stared into his soul.

Naruto smiled, "Everyone I'd like you to meet my good friend, Mr. Popo. I've summoned him so he can tell you something VERY important."

Mr. Popo gave a creepy smile, "Hello maggots, it has come to my attention that you need to be taught the pecking order." Now the other three shinobi were confused beyond all measure.

"Theres you." Points at Sasuke and the others. "The dirt, the worms inside the dirt, the Sandaime Hokage's stool, Naruto, then Popo. Any Questions?"

Sasuke growls, "Yeah what gives you the-" Sasuke was then back handed not by Mr. Popo, not Naruto, not Kakashi, but by Sakura! Why did Sakura of all people hit Sasuke? This was the question that filled Kakashi's mind.

"Its because she subconsciously knows better. Never mess with the Popo." replied Naruto. Mr. Popo smiled knowing that his work was done.

"Now if you will excuse me Naruto I must go and smoke some pot, join me and the Sandaime later this evening. ByyyyyYYYYYyeeeeeeeeeeee." And with that Mr. Popo left to get high with the Hokage.

Kakashi looked on in wonder as the being known as Mr. Popo left. The silver haired man knew that the was just going to get weirder. After they woke up Sasuke, who some how forgot what happened, they let Sasuke have his turn.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I no likes but many dislikes. I don't have any hobbies and my dream, no its an ambition, is find and kill a certain man." Sasuke finished with a brooding stare. His 'coolness' was interrupted by Naruto once again.

Naruto waved his hands in the air mockingly, "Watch out everybody, we got a badass over here!" 

Sasuke growled, "Shut up Dobe!"

Naruto grinned, "Hey duck butt have you heard the joke about no and me neither?"

The Uchiha looked very confused, "No."

The prankster jumped up and yelled, "Me neither!" And with that Naruto turned into a twister and fled.

Sasuke could only look on in confusion, that was until ten seconds later that he screamed out in rage.

Kakashi sighed, "Look just be at training ground # 9 tomorrow at 8 am. I'm leaving before my brain explodes."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Hours later after getting high with the Hokage and Popo

Naruto quietly creeped throughout the mansion, well it would have been quietly had the blond not be humming the Mission impossible theme. Anyways he had gotten past the guard and was now in the Hyuuga compound. Getting past the guards was the only hard part. Mostly because inside the compound the walls were byakugan proof.

Tonights prank had 2 parts. 1, steal the Hyuuga clothing and replace them with crazy outfits. 2, cover all the compound walls with mirrors. The second part was easy, all he had to do was pull out a bunch of mirrors out of hammer space. The first part was kind of hard, but when he got to a certain heiress's room things got fun.

Naruto slowly opened the sliding door to Hinata Hyuuga's room. He stopped for a few moments as he watched the girl sleep. He watched her for a while before Loki broke him out of his stupor. DUring his raid of her closet he found a small black box at the bottom of the closet. On the Box were these words.

"For Future Honeymoon with Naruto-kun"

On the box was a small homemade Naruto plushy. Now this caught Naruto curiosity, he slowly opened the box and froze at what he saw. In the box was a set of bright orange lace bra and panties. On the panties were pictures of mini foxes. Next to this was a unopened box of RAMEN smelling candles.

In Naruto's mind Kurama commented, "**Girls got good taste, right Naruto?**" Naruto couldn't answer he was too busy imagining a grown up Hinata in recently mentioned outfit. Naruto gave off a very perverted giggle.

Naruto put back the box and replaced her clothes with custom clothing that he made on the spot. He then left a note on her bed side table. With a giggle he left the room via window to finish his pranks.

The following morning the whole Hyuuga compound was in an uproar. All of the Hyuuga were forced to wear the eye burning orange spandex suits. Hiashi was rampaging because no one could figure out how to leave the building because the mirrors made infinite refections of the house. And because of the Byakugan proof walls they were still stuck. The only Hyuuga not out of their rooms was Hinata.

In Hinata's room she had repeatedly feinted due to the things Naruto left behind. The note beside her bed mentioned the change in wardrobe. When she opened her closet she froze at the single bright orange t-shirt. On the shirt were these simple words in green text.

"Property of Uzumaki Naruto"

To make matters worse the only lower garments she had were black skin tight jeans with a smiling fox on her right butt cheek. But what she saw at the bottom of her closet almost made her have a heart attack. On her secret black box was a lavender book. On the book was a title that made her squeal.

Icha Icha: NaruHina version.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6 Weed is bad M'kay

_The Green Masked Fox_

_by Uzunaru999_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. Nor do I own anything that is mentioned in this **

**story. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**For those who waited here is an extra long chapter. Note I don't own Avenue Q or their song.**

**A/N: Know that though there are drug references I in no means condone the use of drugs. I just think people who use drugs always find themselves in funny situations and thus I laugh at them.**

**Check out my challenges on my profile!**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Chapter 6 Weed is bad M'kay

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

And now a quick flash back to the time when the Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru were still Genin.

Then see the true reason that Tsunade left the village, enjoy.

Tsunade is in the Konoha Library looking up new medical scrolls. When she feels the need to sing, "**The library is really really great!**"

From the information desk Jiraiya's head pops out, "**for porn!**" Then he disappeared.

Tsunade, not hearing this continued, "**I've got a membership card so I don't have to wait!**"

Jiraiya pops up from a near by trashcan, "**For porn!**"

Tsunade looks around in confusion, "**Huh?**". Seeing nothing she sings again, "**There's always some new book.**"

Jiraiya then peeks out from a ceiling tile, "**For Porn!**"

Tsunade tries to ignore the voice, "**I browse every nanny and crook.**"

Jiraiya pokes his face around the isle that Tsunade's in, "**For Porn!**"

Tsunade growls yet continues singing, "**It's like I know where just to look!**"

Jiraiya pops his head straight through the book case, right in the girls face, "**FOR PORN!**"

Tsunade yelps in surprise but then yells in anger, "**Jiraiya!**"

Jiraiya then sings while doing a funny jig, "**The library is for porn!**" He pulls out the very first Icha Icha book.

Tsunade whines, "**What are you doing?!**"

Jiraiya shouts with joy, "**The library is for porn! Why do you think the library was born? PORN! PORN! PORN!**"

Tsunade bonks the boy on the head while snarling, "**Jirai~~~ya!**"

Jiraiya recovers quickly, "**Oh hello Tsunade-hime!**"

Tsunade releases some blood lust at the white haired boy, "**You are ruining my song!**"

Jiraiya has sweat on his forehead in nervousness, "**Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.**"

Tsunade gets a tick mark on her head as she speaks, "**Well if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?"**

Jiraiya pulls in fingers across his lips and makes a zipping sound.

Tsunade nods, "**Good.**"

Tsunade smiles and she sees many shinobi and civilians mingle together, "**I'm glad we have this place for unity**"

Jiraiya opens his mouth on reflex, "**for porn!**"

Tsunade gives the boy the evil eye, "**Which gives everyone an opportunity.**"

Jiraiya blurts out, "**For Por-oops, sorry!**"

Tsunade groans at the perv, but still sings, "**Right across from your favorite ramen shop**" Out side across the street a red haired girl could be seen eating many bowls of ramen.

Jiraiya squeaks, "**For -**"

Tsunade glared at him for a moment, "**You can learn jutsu until you drop. then you've had enough and ready to stop!**"

The pervert, who couldn't take it anymore, shouted out, "**FOR PORN!**"

Tsunade snarled at the pervert, "**JIRAIYA!**"

Jiraiya just smiles as he continues to sing himself, "**The Library is for PORN!**"

Tsunade groans, "**Nooooo!**"

Jiraiya again, "**The Library is for PORN!**"

Tsunade could only shake her head at her teammate.

Jiraiya smiled with a lopsided grin, "**Me up all night honking me horn to PORN! PORN! PORN!**"

Tsunade shivered, "**That's gross you're a pervert.**"

Jiraiya just shrugged, "**Ah, sticks and stones Tsunade-hime.**" In the background a Jiraiya-clone yells, "I'm a super pervert!"

Tsunade shakes her head, "**NO really, you're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and read porn all day.**"

Jiraiya raised a single eye-brow, "**Ohhhhh?**"

Tsunade looked confused, "**What?!**"

Jiraiya waved his hands in fever, "**YOU HAVE NO IDEA! Ready normal people?!**"

Young Gai, young Asuma, and Tsunade's love interest Dan yelled, "**Ready~~Ready~~Ready!**"

Jiraiya yelled, "**Let me hear it!**"

Jiraiya & Guys, "**The Library is for PORN!**"

Kakashi jumps in, "**Yo, sorry i'm late!**"

Jiraiya & Guys, "**The Library is for PORN!**"

Kakashi eye smiled, "**I always masturbate!**"

Jiraiya & Guys, "**All these guys unzip their flies for PORN! PORN! PORN!**"

Tsunade who was red from anger yelled, "**The Library and Books are not for porn!**"

Jiraiya just continued, "**PORN! PORN! P-**"

Tsunade roared with fury, "**HOLD ON A SECOND!**"

Tsunade took a deep breath, "N**ow I know for a fact that you, Gai look for new books on Taijutsu styles frequently.**"

Gai shouted, "**That's correct! YOSH!**"

Tsunade turns to the new nicotine addict, "**And Asuma, you sell your fathers old books to get more cigarettes.**"

Asuma coughed on his cigarettes for a sec, "**Sure!**"

Tsunade looked at the new young jounin, "**And Kakashi you keep using your sharingan to copy jutsu from scrolls.**"

Kakashi waved, "**Yes I Do!**"

Tsunade smiled at her love interest, "**And Dan you bought me a book on more medical jutsu.**"

Dan blushed in embarrassment, "**True!**"

Jiraiya then but in, "**Oh, but princess, what kinds of books did he looked for…after? hmmm?**"

Dan blushed even more, "Y**eah.**"

Tsunade quickly backed away from the male ninja, "**EEEEEWWWWW!**"

Jiraiya & Guys sung the chorus, "**The Library is for PORN!**"

Tsunade growled out, "**I hate porn!**"

Jiraiya took out the Icha- Icha, "**So grab your Icha-Icha and let your spouse see'ya!**"

Tsunade screamed, "**I hate you men!**"

Jiraiya and the shinobi, "**For PORN! PORN! PORN!**"

Then in harmony, "**PORN! PORN! PORN! PORN!**"

Tsunade yelled out, "**I'm leaving!**" She packed her bags and let with Shizune.

Jiraiya and the men didn't even see it, "**PORN! PORN! PORN! PORN! PORN! PORN! PORN! PORN!**"

Tsunade mumbled while on the road, "**I hate the Library!**"

Jiraiya, "**The Library is for~!**"

Jiraiya plus a few , "**The Library is for~!**"

All the guys together, "**The Library is for PORN!**"

Jiraiya held a pose, "**Yeah!**"

And now you know the true reason that Tsunade left the village. Though it was later she was informed that her former lover Dan and her little brother Nawaki died. Then she turned into a drinking, gambling, old hag. You mad Shizune?

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Precent time

Early next morning two cloaked figures could be seen talking while sharing some pocky. The tallest one spoke in a monotone voice.

"So you promise if I do this you'll fix my eyes and let me be with Ayame again right?"

The short one laughed, "Of course, if worse comes to worse you could always knock him out and seal him memories. Though you have to have a hidden camera in the room during the whole thing. I want to see his reaction."

Both figures shook hands and left. The tallest one taking the pocky.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The Uchiha compound.

Sasuke Uchiha dragged himself out of bed at a snails pace, he was not a morning person. After doing all his normal morning things and throwing his daily anti-depressant medication out the window he went to the kitchen to get some food. He didn't care what Kakashi said, he need his breakfast.

As he was walking down the stairs he noticed a funny odor in the air. He suddenly had the need to eat more than usual. As he followed the scent he came to his living room. What he saw almost made his mind break.

There on the living room couch was none other than Itachi Uchiha. The one that slaughtered the entire clan, his big brother. Though what Itachi was waring extremely confused Sasuke. Itachi wore black denim jeans with multiple belts on. He had a pink, PINK, shirt with the words, "I'm sexy and I know it." in bold letters. He even had ear piercings. In the older Uchiha's hand was a large blunt. The great Itachi Uchiha was tripping on weed.

Itachi looked up and gasped like Pinkie Pie did in the first MLP episode. The man jumped up and scooped up Sasuke in a hug.

"Oh man look at you little bro! You've grown so much! Hey is that a duck on your head? Never mind I'm kind of high right now. Anyways I've come back to you to tell you something very important!"

Itachi hung off his brother like that drunk at the party thats always yelling he loves everybody.

"Little bro I think you should know that the whole slaughter of our family was a freak accident. You see I was trying out a new drug, It was a mix of meth, bleach, crack, chakra soldier pills, and opium. So you can guess I was totally of my rocker. The only thing I do remember that night was walking in on Mom cutting up dad, I think dad was caught trying to cheat on her. Well you can guess that she cut off his balls, right before I stabbed them with my sword!" He finished with a laugh, completely creeping Sasuke out.

"Anyways, I'm back and ready for us to be best brothers again. But first I have to see a certain ramen waitress and make up for years of absence. Oh did you know I while I was gone I was trying out the different weed of the Elemental nations? I tell you lil-bro that you should watch out for weed from Taki. That stuff is crazy! When I tried it I forgot to breath for about 30 seconds!"

Itachi took a big poof of his blunt before finishing up, "Well lil-bro I've got to go talk to you later!" And then Itachi walked out of the room, like a boss. Sasuke only lasted 10 seconds before he fainted.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later

Sasuke and Sakura waited at training ground #9. It was 7:55 in the morning, both of them tired and hungry. Sakura was worse off due to being on a "diet". When they got there they saw not Kakashi nor Naruto. And so they waited.

And waited.

Waiting.

For 3 hours they waited. And just as Sasuke, who had a very weird and traumatizing morning, was about to give up and leave when Naruto was sighted walking into the clearing. He was wearing the green suit that he wore at the council meeting. When Sakura saw this she got mad, due to her mother telling her about it. Because of that she had to go without money for a month. No more spa treatments for a month!

"You're late dope.", grumbled Sasuke.

Naruto reached into his suit and pulled out a clock that looked like it used to be around Flavor Flav's neck. Both Sakura and Sasuke wondered how he fit it in his suit. Naruto comically studied the clock.

"Well according to my clock its exactly 5 seconds before I pull down your pants and shove a pie in your face."

"What?"

The clock rang and with blurring speed Naruto got behind Sasuke and did as he stated before. He pulled the emo's pants down and then slammed a cream pie right in his face. It was about that time that Kakashi decided to reveal himself. What he saw caused him to shudder.

Sasuke stood there with his face covered in whip cream. The funny part was Sasuke's boxers, which were on full display. Well they weren't boxers to be exact, it was a sharingan covered thong. Sakura was drooling at the sigh from behind Sasuke. If she looked from the front she would have been very confused. Kakashi and Naruto agreed if they didn't see the upper body of Sasuke they would have mistaken the thong was being worn by a girl.

After Sasuke cleaned himself up and everything returned to relative normalcy Kakashi decided it was time to start the test. Kakashi took out 2 bells and continued to tell the 3 genin the rules.

"Now the rules the the test are simple, your goal is to get a bell."

Captain Sakura Obvious spoke, "Kakashi-sensei why do you only have two bells?"

Kakashi gave an eye-smile, "Well Sakura there are only two bells because only two of you will pass. You three must come at me with intent to kill. Thats the only way you'll have a chance at getting a bell. At the end of the test the one who doesn't get the bell will be sent back the the academy."

Kakashi opened his sole eye to look at the genin for their shocked faces. Sakura was scared that she might not be able to be with her emo-prince. Sasuke himself was kind of out of it from this morning. Naruto...had fallen asleep standing up.

"But sensei you might get hurt if we attack you!"

At Sakura's statement Naruto woke up and without a second thought whacked the pink haired girl upside the head. With a rubber chicken, which disappeared as quickly as it hit her head.

"He's a jounin for a reason pinkie, a lazy 'let my skills rust' jounin, but a jounin none the less.", said Naruto. Kakashi eye twitched at the remark of his laziness but calmed down. Kakashi took out an alarm clock. This caused Naruto to glare, Loki and Kyuubi/Kurama snorted at the notion. A three hour late sensei owned an alarm clock.

"The clock is set for noon. You may begin in 3...2...1."

Sasuke and Sakura jumped into the surrounding bushes. Naruto on the other hand just stared at his 'sensei'. The blond stood there for about ten minutes, studying Kakashi. Kakashi himself had brought out his infamous Icha-Icha novel.

After a while Naruto finally decided on his attack plan. Let the chaos begin!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7 Testing 1, 2, 3

_The Green Masked Fox_

_by Uzunaru999_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. Nor do I own anything that is mentioned in this story. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**A/N: At the end of most chapter there will be Omakes, pranks and jokes that do not go with the main story line. Also if you want to submit one I'll give credit and post it for others to see. LOL**

**Check out my challenges on my profile!**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o 

Chapter 7 Testing 1, 2, 3

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Talking bellybutton!" The oddly dressed man jumped up from his sleep. The man had a a suit that colors was split down the middle. He had white hair and beard and creepy cat eyes. He looked around his mountain of cheese. The cheese that he was supposed to give but decided to keep all the goodness for himself. It was Sheogerath, the mad god.

"Well lad now that you've introduced me will you please get on with the insane cameo filled plot? And are you really still mad about the cheese?" asked the prince. The author ignored the cheese thief and continued the story.

The daedric prince was awoken by wave of chaos energy. Be sure not to confuse this energy with any from a blue hedgehogs universe. Cause its not! Back to Sheogerath.

"Well it seems like my good friend Loki is...wait what?! No I do not want to go the Naru-verse! I don't want to deal with that cross between Voldemort and Micheal Jackson! Do you have any idea what that creep does with the prehensile long tongue of his?!"

Little did the mad god know that if he didn't get to the authors story he would be forced to watch a documentary on Justin Bieber.

"WHOA laddie, I get it I'll go spend some time with Naruto and Loki. But you own me some cheese and the heads of Rin and Stimpy! Don't forget to stuff them jock straps!"

Sheogerath quickly opened a portal and moon walked through it.

O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Back in the Naruto universe the bell test was underway.

"ONE THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH!" Yelled Kakashi as he tried to attack Naruto. Who had stollen his book earlier. The Cyclops shinobi would have his revenge. Naruto himself eyes widened in surprised before he brought his hands up in the 'T' shape and called out.

"WHOA! Time-Out!"

Everything in the clearing froze, even the birds flying over head didn't move. Naruto took a deep breath before turning to the frozen scarecrow with a frown.

"As if I'm going to be caught like that." Naruto walked over to where Sasuke was hiding and plucked him out of the tree. He then carried the Uchiha like a manikin doll over to were Kakashi was. The blond then walked over and picked up the prone Sakura and hovered her a few feet above Kakashi.

When everything was done the blond took out some popcorn and yelled, "OK! Time-In."

Three things then happened. One Sasuke got poked REALLY HARD in the butt and was sent flying. Please note that there was very little shouts of pain from the boy. Two! Kakashi was confused on what happened until Sakura's flat bottom bashed on his head and made both man and girl crumple to the ground. Three Sasuke landed in the pond near by and the sound of a duck quack could be heard.

Kakashi groaned as he slowly grabbed the pink thing and threw her off. He didn't know what happened, once moment he's about to get revenge the next thing his target changed and some ugly lolicon (don't google that) in pink dropped on top of his head. He stood up and then stared at his popcorn eating foe.

Naruto, after having his laugh, got ready to fight. He put his hand in a pocket and pulled out a wall divider. He jumped behind its cover only for a second and the reappeared in his boxers.

"Oops, messed up!" Jump back and come back out.

Naruto was without his shirt but he did have black tight pants and a bling covered belt that covered most of his midsection. He's muscles were more pronounced, they looked like were hard as rocks.

"So tell me Kakashi-sensei, what do you think happened?" asked Naruto with a smirk.

Kakashi took deep breaths to calm himself down and to regain his normal "IDGAF" attitude. "Well I think you used a nin-"

"**IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!**" Naruto yelled at the now miffed jounin. Naruto then charged jumped up and air clotheslined Kakashi into the ground. The reason Kakashi didn't dodge was of course because of the quick flash back he had of something green and of Dynamic entry. Kakashi was knocked down hard.

Naruto posed and yelled, "Can you smell what the Naruto is cocking?!"

Over by the pond a beet red and soaking Sasuke crawled back onto dry land. He was furious, the dope was making a mockery of everything! Sakura was useless and his so called sensei was knocked out by the dead last. His week just couldn't get any worse.

The Uchiha felt a chill up his spine, 'I jinxed myself didn't I?...fuck!'

Then everything went black.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

In a universe not relating to the story!

A portal opened and the moonwalking Sheogerath appeared only to blink in confusion. He looked around and found himself on top of a deserted island with a ship with black sails in the distance. He scratched his head in thought.

"Hum, knew I shouldn't have taken that detour at the My little Pony multiverse! But I had to say hi to Discord, he's always having fun with those ponies! I still don't understand how that blue one can fly so fast and not die from all the g-forces. And don't get me started on Derpy! Do like those apples though! Well back to traveling!"

And his cartwheeled back through his portal.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura slowly woke up to tied to the three stumps. Naruto in front of them playing cards with a cat. Tora the cat.

"Full house, jacks over kings", yelled Naruto. Only to groan as Tora showed a royal flush. The cat took the goodies, which included grade A cat nip and walked away with his tail high in the air.

"I still don't get how that cat can beat me!" The other three were about to cry from all the craziness. Naruto turned to see them awake and smiled.

"Well now that you degenerates are awake we can get this over with! I have a ANBU squad to prank at 3 and I don't want to be late. So here is how its going to happen. Kakashi, you pass us or I replace all your smut with yaoi fanfiction and Twilight!"

It took about 2.5 seconds for Kakashi to scream, "OK YOU PASS! YOU PASS!"

"Good! No all thats left is to give back your book. Now where did I put it?" Naruto reached into his pants pocket and started to pull out random stuff. A rubber chicken, a sink, blue rabbit, three kites, a pair of handcuffs, cup of coffee, a swordfish, the stolen first draft of the prequels of Starwars, and finally unarmed pipe bomb. When he couldn't find it on his person he bonked his head.

"Now I remember!" Naruto walked over and punched Sakura in the stomach so hard that she threw up the Icha Icha book. Don't ask how or why just know that it happened. Naruto handed the drool soaked book to Kakashi and then left via twister. The other three were left tied to the stumps crying from pain, embarrassment, and of course from the crazy stuff that happened.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

**OMAKE: **Sword jokes.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Battle at the bridge

Naruto stared down Zabuza Momochi, they had been fighting on the bridge for a while. Finally Naruto broke contact to get some distance.

"You know Zabooboo," cue tick mark on the mans eye-brow-less forehead. "I have to ask with the size of your sword, are you compensating for something?"

To Naruto confusion Zabuza chuckled, "Your not to first to ask brat, and I always reply its not compensation, its representation."

Sakura in the background blushed and raged about Zabuza being a pervert.

Naruto blinked, "Thats a pretty good comeback."

Zabuza laughed, "I know right! Took me forever to think it up!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Finals for the Chunnin exams

Neji glared at Naruto as the blond wielded a broadsword that he got for the fight.

Neji smirked, "Does a failure like you know even how to use that?"

Naruto just smirked and spoke with a smooth voice, "Sure, first I whip it out, then I thrust it with great force. Every angle, it penetrates all the while getting coated in fluids. Until, with great strength, I ram it in. In the end, we're all satisfied and you are set free!"

In the stands multiple girls get blushes or nose bleeds.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8 WIld Drunk appears!

_The Green Masked Fox_

_by Uzunaru999_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or The Mask. Nor do I own anything that is mentioned in this story. This Fanfic is for entertainment purposes only. Happy reading, please review.**

**A/N: At the end of most chapter there will be Omakes, pranks and jokes that do not go with the main story line. Also if you want to submit one I'll give credit and post it for others to see. LOL**

**A/N2: I like to dedicate this chapter to my favorite comedian of all time! The great Groucho Marx! Don't know him? LOOK HIM UP! Along with the Marx Brothers.**

**In this chapter Naruto will say a one Groucho's famous quotes. Find it and you get a digital cheesecake. Not regular cake because then it would be a lie. Anyways on with the show!**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o 

Chapter 8 A wild old drunk appears!

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

A shady group of losers

"Ok so we're all agreed. We go to the demon brats house and torch it." said the main pink haired loser.

"Hai council-member-sama!", yelled the mindless sheep.

And so the group of about 15 civilians marched through Konoha with their goal in mind. It didn't take them long until they got to Naruto's apartment. When they got there they saw some things had changed.

There was no longer an old apartment complex. There was now a small castle. With a moat. The castles flag was a black thong.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Anko's apartment

"Where the hell is my favorite pair at! This is the third time this week I might go without underwear! Not that I mind, but I liked that thong!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

At the Castle

The civilians and PHCM (Pink Haired Council Member) started to whisper amongst each other. They didn't remember any castles being built in Konoha. Since none of the civilians could use chakra, thus no water-walking. They could only stay outside the moat.

The PHCM then got a idea, she shouted at the castle to see if someone was home.

"HELLO! IS ANYBODY HOME."

Out from behind a stone at the top a figure appeared. It was a very crudely dressed knight. The knight had blond hair.

The knight yelled back, "Yes?! Who is zit?

PHCM shouted back, "My name is Saki Haruno, Civilian Council Member of Konoha. Here with me are some concerned neighbors. May I ask who's castle this is?"

"This is the castle of our master the great Count Naru-Uzu.", the knight giggled to himself at his clever masking of his creators true identity.

Saki Haruno shifted in agitation, "Go get your master and tell him I must speak to him and that he must have the deed of this area if he wishes to keep his castle. As the overseer of the residential area of Konoha I know that the deed of this area is already in the hands of another."

The knight scoffed, "Well, I'll ask him to come, but I don't think he'll be very keen as he's already got one, you see?"

Saki Haruno blinked, "What?" One of the civilians following her said, "He said they've already got it!"

The Haruno leader shouted again, "Are you sure he's got it?"

The knight smirked, "Oh yes it is very nice!" The knight turned to the wall were three other knights were hunched behind as not to be seen. They all had the same golden blond hair.

The main knight whispered to the others, "I've told them we've already have the deed." The others laughed.

Saki Haruno was now getting a little angry, "Can I see the deed then?"

The Knight seemed to take offense, "Of course not! You are Konoha-types-a!"

Haruno snarled, "Then what are you?!"

The Knight puffed out his chest, "I am French! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you

silly pink haired person!"

While one of the sheep whispered, "What in Kami's name is 'French'?"

Another one yelled, "Then what are you doing in Konoha?!"

The Knight spat, "Mind your own business!"

Saki Haruno was furious now, "If you will not show us the deed we will have the shinobi take your castle by force!"

The Knight scoffed and went on a rant, "You don't frighten us, Konoha tree-huggers! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Council Member, you and all your silly Konoha kaniggets!" Then the knight spat his tongue at the group below.

The Haruno screeched, "NOW SEE HERE GOOD SIRS!"

The Main knight cut her off, "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Saki took a deep calming breath and spoke with a little edge in her voice, "Is there someone else we can talk to?"

The Knight sneered, "No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!"

The Haruno's face was turning the same color as her hair, "Now this is your last chance! I've been more than reasonable.."

The Knight turned to his brothers, "Fetchez la vache!"

The others, "Wha?!"

The Knight persisted, "Fetchez la vache!"

Meanwhile Saki Haruno was still ranting, "If you do not abide by the council demands, then I will have to." She was cut off by a noise.

There was 'Thwoooong' followed by a chorus of moos. The civilians looked up at the darkening sky.

"OH SWEET KAMI!"

**SPLAT!**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Later

Hokage's office

"Let me get this straight...your team fails D-rank missions?", asked a very disgruntled Hiruzen. He had just recently got a report on how every D-rank mission that team 7 got was ruined. The worst was that Naruto somehow taught Tora the Daimyo's wife cat to untie, cut and break out of ropes that were used to hold it. How or why Naruto did this no one knows.

Kakashi just slumps his shoulders, "I'm sorry Hokage-sama, but every time we get one and I try to promote their teamwork something weird happens and we fail the mission. I mean I don't even know where that herd of buffalo came from when they ran over the flower bed that we were weeding. Not to mention Naruto jumped on one and started to ride it like a cowboy."

The Sandaime massaged his temples from the migraine he had. All the while Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura waited in the background. Well Sasuke and Sakura waited, Naruto was reading a new book in his green suit.

Icha Icha: Top Fox and the Top Bitch.

It was about himself and Tsume Inuzuka. There were only 10 copies because Kiba had destroyed all the rest when he found out. Little did the mutt know that his mother had a personal limited golden edition in her night stand. And now she, her daughter Hana and Hinata got together every tuesday and friday to talk about the books. Thanks to this Hinata started to get some confidence. (future no stuttering Hinata)

BACK TO THE STORY!

Hiruzen finally took out a C-rank mission scroll, "Ok, sense it seems your team can't deal with D-rank missions the only logical thing to do is give you a C-rank." All other shinobi working in the mission hall sweat dropped and or face-planted at the Hokage's logic.

"Your mission is to escort the bridge builder Tazuna back to wave. This is a regular C-rank missions, do you accept?" Team 7 nodded. Hiruzen signaled for the client to brought in.

The door slid open and a disgruntled old drunk walked in. He looked at team 7 and scoffed. "This is my protection? Their a bunch of kids, (Looks at Sasuke) That one looks like he cuts himself. (Looks at Sakura) Can't tell if thats a girl or cross dressing boy with a wig. (Looks at Naruto) He's cool. (Looks at Kakashi) And the leader is a creep trying to hide his disfigured face."

Sasuke, Sakura were about to go ape shit on him only for Kakashi to grab them. "Now guys its not good for the village if you start to kill the clients."

Naruto put away his book and got a glint in his eyes, "Don't worry old drunk we'll get you home safe. I know my teammates may look like idiots, talk like idiots, and act like idiots. But don't let that fool you, they really are idiots!"

Now it was Naruto that team 7 was trying to kill.

Hiruzen yelled at the peak of his frustration, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE!" The group sprinted out the door.

It was quiet.

Ah sweet silence. How the Sandaime missed it.

Then his secretary burst in, "Lord Hokage, a group of civilians and council-member Haruno were admitted to the hospital. They were crushed by falling cows!"

The Hokage slammed his head on his desk and groaned.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

TBC...

OMAKE: Power of of Weed.

"Up Itachi are you sure this will work?" Asked a skeptical Kisame. The duo were on there way to try and catch the Kyuubi Container.

Itachi rolled his near blind eyes, "Yes of course it will, now we're almost their quick have a whiff of this."

Before Kisame could object Itachi smashed a blunt into the fish-man's mouth and forced him to inhale. Due to the potency of the stash Kisame was high by the time the duo got to the Konoha gates men.

Both gate guards stared wide eyed at the two stoners.

Itachi waved his hands over there faces, "You do not need our identification."

The guards, "Right everything seems to be in order, move along." And just like that both Itachi and Kisame walked into Konoha.

Back at the gate the guards laughed, "Man can you believe how stoned those two were! I can't believe they henge'd themselves into the infamous Itachi and Kisame! I bet you 50 Ryo it was Kakashi and Gai!"

The other guard scoffed , "No bet those two are out babysitting. Though I do have to say its a good thing they weren't the real Kisame and real Itachi."

The first guard nodded, "Yep good thing we know stoners and a bad henge when we see them."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o


End file.
